When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
