ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
