She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
one might say we're banned from that church
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
