He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
