3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
