yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
