My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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