you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
