too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
