I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
