ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
