Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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