OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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