You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
