May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
