awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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