Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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