Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
