i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
