What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
