Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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