the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
