Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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