The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
