Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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