she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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