i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
