you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
