please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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