But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
