I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
why do cheetos always look like penises
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Randomize
