I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
