ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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