so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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