who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
