Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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