quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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