I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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