yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
