Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
