I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i dont even know how to be here
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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