the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
