You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
