...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
