Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
When are your genitals available?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
