Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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