So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
