Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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