remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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