Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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